Nature Speaks and Feelings

I love walking and running the trails outside my neighborhood. I am one that comes alive outside- there is something about the trees, the water, the animals, the smells and songs of nature that strike a chord deep within me. It is extremely rare for me to not get outside daily and muse with the Lord in the familiarity of paths that I have walked 100s if not 1000s of times in my life. It's in these times I can hear God the clearest and, I believe in part, because it is a place in my life I have stewarded and set aside to expect Him. He really loves when we do this! Bill Johnson once taught that it "Isn't our desire to hear God, but His desire to be heard" that is important. Not unlike Bill raising his son, Eric, with a hearing deficit and choosing to get down to his son's level as a child, adjust his face and make sure that Eric could see his lips as he communicated; our Father God does everything He can to make sure we recognize, understand and hear Him--it only makes sense that the things we give most attention to are usually the things He will use to get our attention.

the things we give most attention to are usually the things He will use to get our attention.

As I was walking yesterday, I came across a giant fallen tree. It had completely obstructed the path. I had to pause the message I was listening to on my AirPods to assess how to get through the debris with my dog when I heard a voice whisper in my mind, "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?" I recognized Holy Spirit immediately and paused to hear more. Another influential individual in my life, Lindsey Reiman, has taught to not stop when you first hear the Lord, but to continue asking questions as He desires to reveal more than we are generally aware of. In this instance, Lindsey's voice popped into my mind and I was reminded of that moment of teaching.

"What do you mean, Lord?"

I instantly had this entire movie reel of circumstances that had taken place in my life over the last months come to memory. Some painful relational things that had happened that had come at a cost. I had been feeling like no one had seen, no one had heard and no one cared what had been going on while I had obediently trusted the Lord in how to maneuver the situations. All these moments began to flash through my mind, every one of them that I had wondered if they even mattered after the last few weeks....

I heard Him again, "The absence of awareness doesn't change the consequences of a situation".

This time, I started to cry. I realized I had felt alone and unseen and without an advocate. Yet, the Lord didn't address my heart at the expense of anyone, he justified the exact notion I did not have words for up until that point.

The absence of awareness doesn't change the consequences of a situation

I had been living in real time the consequences of a situation that was continually going unnoticed (intentionally or not, it doesn't matter) by the world around me. And I, like a fallen tree trunk on a familiar path, was laying there waiting for someone to come pick me up and clean up the mess.

As I climbed over the trunk and made my way through the leaves and branches that used to soar up to the sky, I looked back and surveyed the mess the fall had left. I knew that my neighbor, who works for the DNR, would be enlisted soon to come and take a part the fallen tree and clear the path. I knew that many would never know the tree ever fell and that maybe no one, including me, would miss where it once stood. What appeared in this moment as a big mess, would be easily removed and returned to a familiar path--the problem, though large, was actually not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.

I looked forward once again and put my AirPods back in, God had seen and heard and cared about what happened in my life. He was already cleaning up and putting things back in order and it didn't require anyone else having a clue about what was going on because HE did.

My heart filled with comfort, my face became a little brighter and I'm pretty sure my walk became firmer as I felt my head raise and my shoulders roll back, God has got this.

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It is so cool how the Lord will meet us at times to address things we weren't actually seeking answers for in the moment. He does this often with me. I wonder if it's because he'll wait for me to process my emotions with Him before He processes His plans and ways with me- that way, I don't see His plans and ways through a filter of emotion. Hear me- I believe emotions are a part of our design and are good (God has emotions! Even Jesus wept), but they are also subject to sanctification and process like the rest of our being. Emotions are great servants, but they are TERRIBLE rulers. You can't trust them alone. For instance, in my life, if I'm really sad- God will comfort me before He speaks into the situation. It doesn't mean that addressing the sad emotion is wrong, but the situation may not necessarily have anything to do with my own internal response IF it is an identity issue. A lot of times, I find that my emotional response has a lot more to do with me than it has to do with what is really going on.

My husband can't stand the phrase "you hurt my feelings". Lol. He HATES it. When we were younger, though, that was the only phrase I had to express what I was feeling. The lie in this phrase, however, is that no one can hurt your feelings. Feelings express internal process. You are no more your feelings and emotions than you are the way you taste food or hear music. These filters are ways in which our soul and body are able to respond to external stimulus- and- depending on your experiences and belief systems (not only spiritual, but what YOU believe about yourself and others) manifest totally differently.

Here is an example: Sheri believes that kindness is demonstrated by respect and that respect looks like eye contact (because that is what her dad raised her to do when she spoke respectfully), body language (because her mother always made her aware of how she positioned herself) and tone of voice (monotone sounds so mean!). Sheri is a people pleaser and desperately wants to be respected and liked by everyone in her environment- this has given her a false awareness to the degree to which the world around her is actually aware of her. Sheri is at the printer at work today and Steve is waiting to have his turn to print- Steve mumbles something that Sheri doesn't hear right away, she turns to Steve to ask him to repeat what he was saying. Steve doesn't look up, turns away and starts a conversation with Dan- who is also waiting for the printer. Sheri becomes triggered and feels disrespected and unliked by Steve. Steve is completely oblivious to what has just happened as his attention was to Dan and the conversation he was having with Dan, not an attempt to speak with Sheri.

Here is another example: Tim has been intentionally mentoring and building up Greg. Greg has great talent, but struggles with taking responsibility for his actions and has some pride and arrogance tendencies. Tim, while aware of these things, continues to build up, encourage and give space for Greg to grow. Greg, completely unaware of Tim's intentions, begins to feel threatened by Tim and starts to lash out at Tim in the same ways Tim has been attempting to mentor Greg through. Tim is heartbroken and Greg is completely unaware of why and actually believes that Tim is in the wrong...... feel free to inset any names in either of these situations!

The point is- hurt feelings may not be the most important point in a situation when it comes to the human process. God CARES and He is comforter. However, to assume that your feelings must be rectified in every circumstance is quite shallow, from my experience. You have heard, "hurt people, hurt people"...I think it's possible that in many situations the addressing of the feelings rather than the actual scope of, existence of or relational equity of the circumstance becomes a distraction. Not that the felt response is not important for you and GOD (or maybe a close group of friends), but identity issues with ourselves are very rarely solved by making the other party in a situation take responsibility for something that is not theirs to be responsible for...There are MANY people that you have experienced hurt in circumstances with that you will never receive an apology from. There are MANY people that you have experienced hurt in circumstances with that will never be owed an explanation for your actions and response EVEN IF they apologize. The solution to these situations lies in your desire for connection or separation and, quite frankly, you need to know where anyone lies within their relational access to you in order to determine which road to take.....angry SM responders versus your spouse have completely different degrees of relational equity!

I have had to learn (and continue to do so) that when pursuing God's heart for people, you have to love people. Loving people doesn't guarantee they are going to love you. Loving people is not motivated by how they treat you, perceive you, respond to you, talk about you, etc. We love people because- Christ first loved us. This training ground of loving well is FULL of opportunities to experience pain, why? Because love is risky and has no expectation. I have loved and led with my whole heart only to experience accusation and rejection. Should it matter that the person should know the purity of my heart? Well, Jesus himself asked God to forgive them for they know not what they are doing. The worlds was largely unaware and disinterested in His motives and Jesus not once felt it important to justify Himself or receive an apology--why would I expect or need more? The enemy would have any of us believe in our pure motivations that it is unjust if we are accused or rejected in the process--not so. True love has no endgame. Love demonstrated as Christ loves is patient, kind, long-suffering, keeps no record, does not boast, etc. Love isn't contingent on response. And WHEN the response is painful, we can turn to Jesus who experienced the same and became the author and perfecter of the faith that empowers us to love enduringly, even in the most impossible situations.

I encourage you today that if you have any relationships or circumstances that you feel you are owed some kind of response- EVEN IF the response you are waiting on or expecting is completely justified in your mind- spend some time right now and ask God, "what are you saying about this situation?"

Once again, I highly recommend CHECKING YOUR VITALS by Hayley Braun and Melissa Casey. They have written an incredibly wise course on navigating your feelings and emotions in the context of relational equity. It is brilliant, equipping and incredibly important for any of us desiring to pursue sanctified feelings.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on any of this- comment below :)

Lyns